Sunday Morning

Up early after being up late. You gotta love mild mania. I am not sure how I am feeling today but I am a least optimistic about the day. I will post some stuff on the blog then I do not know. I have been thinking about medication and how it is a love hate relationship. I love it when it works well and keeps me stable and in control. I feel steady and can function like anybody else with not letting stuff really bother me. I am a better father and husband because I am not obsessed with myself. I can hate it sometimes though because it is a twice daily reminder of how messed up I really am and that I have to be reliant on them too function correctly. Also truth be tols, I miss the full blown mania sometimes. The euphoric feelings and wreckless abandonment that I am so used to. Being normal and stable feels weird to me still. But normal and stable is what I need, to many years of chaos and ups and downs. So today I am thankful for my medications.